I never learned to dream. Instead, I rapidly developed the ability to people-please and listen to what other people’s dreams were for me. When I met with Micah–an old friend–I wanted to understand how someone as passionate and extremely driven as her could possibly bring a child into the world and still continue to pursue and achieve ambitious dreams. What I found left me intrigued–and hopeful–for my own combination of dreams and children. I hope it can do something similar for you…
Many people would call you a ‘doer.’ Some may have even titled you a ‘workaholic.’ What has changed?
(I initially reached out to Micah because of a string of Instragram stories where she talked about learning to rest and the value it now has in her life.)
I think it was realizing I don’t have to be the reason for everyone to be happy.
It was recognizing that my happiness was valuable too. In working in health and wellness, I have multiple people who are relying on me everyday. And, I never want people to feel like they don’t have a friend.
But, it was recognizing that God didn’t call me to be everything for them. Jesus is the only one that can fill the void that they are feeling. Yes, that sounds cliché; but, I can’t fill it all. I can’t meet their needs. I can’t make anything better by myself.
I also changed by setting my intentions to not be as much of a people-pleaser. It is difficult because I am a people lover, and I oftentimes get those mixed up.
Ultimately, what changed: I set boundaries. I was a slave to my phone, and a slave to people who needed me. I am still trying to keep my yeses as yeses, and my no’s as no’s.
Spontaneous question for myself: With being a dreamer and doer, how do you see having a child and dreams come together? Because when I think of having children, I think of limitation. Can you speak against that in any way?
With having a kid, they are driving my dreams. I am doing it for them. I want to show them there is so much in life, in Jesus, and in the world.
Cody—my husband–and I love to set goals; so we are going to set goals with them too–giving them that sense of accomplishment and ability to set goals at a young age. You’re raising up someone. If I am being efficient, then they are going to teach me what I am modeling to them.
The biggest thing: bringing them along in the dreams, and being excited to know that I have my babies looking up to me. You’re dream is not above raising them. It is one and the same.
After my interview with Micah, I was struck by her apparent authenticity. She and I had grown up alongside each other, striving for accomplishment and success, while silently comparing ourselves. I remember thinking to myself, “I will never reach her ‘level’ of productivity or ambition.” Yet, here we both are–ten years later–re-learning what it means to dream, achieve, and balance the lives we have created for ourselves.
So, today, I leave you with this question: what or who are you dreaming for? Don’t follow in Micah or I’s footsteps and wait years to learn what holds the deepest value. Instead, seize the opportunity of the day, and walk through whatever is holding you back.
Someday, I will dream of babies without fear, and will dream for them instead. What will you dream for?