There are far better things ahead, than any we leave behind.

C.S. Lewis

Head: “Today is the day! Freedom is calling my name.”

 

Heart: “I know this is what I have wanted, and wanted, and wanted… but will it be any different, any better, any more free?”

 

Like the picture and brief dialogue above, changes in life can lead to a blurred sense of reality and an uncertainty of what will be beyond the next moment. I wrestle with my desires of how it should be and try to write the safest, most efficient script for various circumstances. Here are a few of my own, honest script titles:

 

 —Please Don’t Leave Me: Five simple ways to people please–

 

–How to Appear Okay while Slowly Dying–

 

–I Can Do This…and I Can’t Ask for Help–

 

–Success: McKinzie’s Version–

 

Each of these different scripts allow me to exist in the world in which I live. I can hear someone in the distance asking, “Is this really living though?” For those who may be thinking something similar, I must confess I have not been living a full or honest life. Scripts paired with unmet expectations tend to breed complacency. Thus, my current season of change-infused discomfort and a God-given call to rewrite and edit.

It isn’t going to be pretty, and it certainly won’t be written out perfectly; yet, I still want to invite you on this journey with me because I hope to share this process honestly and give space for whatever may come.

Head: This is going to be uncomfortable and imperfect. Are you sure you want to expose yourself like this?

Heart: I want discomfort and change more than I want to remain comfortable and unhealthy. 

God: “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

(Philippians 1:6)

Photo captured by The Modern Sojourner