Proverbs 31:25 “She is clothed with strength and dignity…”
This woman–Kaylyn–is extraordinary. We first met at a week-long mission trip to Oaxaca, Mexico. As a young, impressionable 20-year-old, I was left struck by her confidence in God’s sovereignty and in His provision. She was on fire and walking down paths I could only dream of.
Fast-forward two and a half years.
Instagram had been my only looking glass into her life, and from what I could see, there were shattered pieces. Pain had come, took a few swings, and left her battered. What I didn’t know at the time was she was walking through the beginning of a divorce. As an unsure, broken-hearted observer, I didn’t feel bold enough to enter into the depths of her suffering. I couldn’t give answers or reasons why. My life and hers had been lived separately for too long, my mind told me.
Yet, my heart cried out for her, for her story. This friend, this woman of God, was being thrown into the trenches of anguish, of loneliness. I knew I had to be a witness.
Her Story
She tried for months to reconnect, to build newer, stronger bridges for her and her husband. Come with me, she asked, when a new mission opportunity arose. Counseling sessions came and went. But, the damage in his heart and mind was done. Rotted hurt clung to the remains of their marriage. Half of the whole said it was over. The suitcase was packed, yet she latched on to one last thread of hope. With his belongings in her arms, she cried out.
Days upon days limped by, her body only housing the remnant of a once-vibrant soul. “You enter this place of darkness, where it is too hard to drive, too hard to eat. You don’t want out, and living becomes harder than the thought of dying.” Underlying thoughts of suicide began to creep up and out of her desperation. Yet, the mourning of her soul and the faithfulness of her mother kept any steps of action from developing.
Rather, God met her in her descent. “I was in this dark, hollow, endless pit. I couldn’t have known it existed until this happened.” She clutched God’s promises tightly through this season, and made space for her suffering. Running from reality–chasing after comfort–was not the road set before her. Instead, Kaylyn knit a community around her, embraced the broken pieces of her heart, and allowed God to restore what little faith she had remaining.
Her story does not end here; rather, it carries on and rushes into the arms of victory, into the overwhelming love of God. And this is where we meet Kaylyn today: composed of broken pieces yet knit together by God’s promises.
Who are you?
“I have a mirror with 14 phrases on it. I look in the mirror and speak them over myself.
I am worthy… I am a high-caliber daughter of God. I am a fighter. I am loved, cherished, adored by God. I am powerful beyond measure. I am royalty.”
If you could share one thought with the world, what would it be?
“Worthiness. Love yourself. Love what God has created within you and for you…because until we truly know our identity in Christ–not what He does but who He is–we will not know or love ourselves fully. And, we are such forces to be reckoned with.”
What do you do with the broken pieces of yourself?
“I allow others to speak into my life. I give them the freedom to help pick up the pieces. And, I don’t hide from those pieces. When others run from brokenness, I fight for my freedom—freedom in Christ…because Christ has set me free.”
What has God written on the Tablet of your Heart?
“It all goes back to what I have recently been through, a descent. But, God said, ‘No, you are rising.’ This shows brokenness and promise and action…and it shows God moving. He has also written missions, kids, and speaking upon my heart. I don’t know how all of these things will come to be, but I serve a God who is faithful to His people.”